Jam Session #71 - Jam Sanderton Visits D.C.

Congress has been investigating the impact of social media on our culture and society. My friends Zuck, Dorsey, and Bezos have had to defend their businesses in Congress, but theirs aren’t the only industries subject to the scrutiny of our legal systems.

Music has always had a rebellious and subversive side to it. The wild success of 30 Second Dance Party has caught Congress’ attention and resulted in unfounded concerns about the ramifications of widespread dance parties. 

Titans of the music industry like Tidal Founder Jay-Z, Spotify CEO Daniel Ek, and myself all sat before Congress: from the start, the questioning was contentious.

Sen. Lindsey Graham: “In this day and age do you really believe that society gets any value out of a 30 Second Dance Party?”

Jam: “Prior to 30 Second Dance Party, there were only 20 second dance parties. So yes, Senator, you could say we’ve added 50% more value.”

Sen. Bernie Sanders: “What about privacy?”

Jam: “Well, Senator, so long as you wear pants, your privates will remain private.”

Sen. Elizabeth Warren: “Does 30SDP have an unfair monopoly on dance parties?”

Jam: “Senator, while we have been gaining dance party market share at an unprecedented rate, it is unfair to say that we have a monopoly considering we don’t even own Park Place”.

Sen. Ted Cruz: But what about my Constitutional right to bear dance parties?

Jam: “Well, Ted, we are simply a tool to facilitate dance parties. We have never been, nor will we ever be, required for the creation of dance parties both now and heretofore thereof in posterum, quid pro quo.”

**At this point, the crowd of skeptical Senators broke into a standing ovation for the remainder of the hearing.**

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Jay-Z was astounded with my poise in such trying times, but I wasn’t. I’ve twice before been in front of hostile committees. The first time was representing my startup everyonegetsaloan.com in front of Congress during the ‘08 financial crisis.  The second was representing the U.S. during the Ghang-gheng in 2015. 

Some call it exhausting, I call it another day at the office.

Yours Truly,

Jam Sanderton
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Editor's Note: Overheard in the DPI office this week: “Oh no.. I think I just disrupted my pants”- Senior Innovation Specialist at the company bi-weekly Chili Cookoff.
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Investor Relations Contact

Bartholomew Bandersnatch

Bartholomew@dancedifferently.com

 

 

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