Jam Session #73 - The Center of Everything
My friends claim some notable accomplishments in the space travel sector. Growing up with Richard Branson, I always knew he’d pave a new path for air travel, but seeing that beautiful blonde hair and goatee in the upper reaches of earth’s atmosphere was a sight to behold. Bezos and Elon, have also taken steps in this new Space Race. I’m happy for them, but frankly, space travel isn’t it.
The end-game in everybody’s head - discovering more places to dance - makes no sense tucked in a shuttle wearing an astronaut suit
Sometimes our friends’ mistakes point us in the right direction though, which is why I am proud to announce my latest endeavor that will change the world forever:
I am going to the center of the Earth.
(Image from center of earth)
People have long been looking up when they should have been looking down. Elon is dabbling on the surface with his Boring (both definitions) company, while our new moonshot Coreshot Endeavor™ will go much much deeper, tackling two great challenges of humanity.
The heat and stuffy air create an ideal simulation of that club in Berlin you barely remember. Clothing is optional at the center of the earth, so all our bodies will be free to move to the beat of the pulsing earth’s core.
People want to dance all over the world. While particle re-assembly is on our roadmap, we see a series of pneumatic tubes, weaving through the earth’s center as a perfect bridge before it’s ready. These tubes will accelerate people and products to 1500+mph within seconds, and because of our focus on sustainability, slowing at destinations will occur via stacks of gently used mattresses through our partnership with Hilton.
It’s not going to be an easy path forward- we’re developing a massive drill to pave the way for a highway through the Earth’s crust, researching the limits of heat-exposure the human body can take, and lobbying for federal funding to make the project happen.
You have my word- I will prove that the Earth’s core is not only reachable, but that it is the ideal location for the future of dance parties. The North Koreans and Russians may have tried, but just like Brendan Fraser, I will succeed.
Overheard in the hallway this week . . .
“I breakdance to breakthrough.” - Drill Engineer to team, explaining why he had been dancing instead of recalibrating entry angles.
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